"I'm dreaming of a white Christmas"

Hey cyberspacers, it's almost Christmas.

Due to my family dynamic I had an early Christmas yesterday. I'm spending actual Christmas with my father's half of the family, but the one this weekend was my mother's half of the family. I don't think I've expressed quite enough how much I love my family. On Friday and Saturday I spent large amounts of time either playing video games or holding my new baby cousin. He is the cutest sweetest baby I have ever seen. For the majority of the time he was rather quiet, just looking around, which for being not a month old is pretty damn good to be awake for that long.

I also realized a little more about the magic of Christmas.

My cousin Kenzie is nine. She's one of those awesome kids that reads and reads and at her age still believes in Santa Claus. At somewhere around one am there were only 4 people left awake. I was getting tired and planning on going to sleep rather shortly. At that point I realized that the two people that usually set up all the christmas things for the morning had already gone into very heavy sleep. My uncles were in the basement playing darts, and this is the first year that that the other has spent Christmas with us. Until setting up that night I had never quite realised how much work everyone else goes through to make that magical. Setting that up was insane, but also a huge adrenaline rush for some reason.

So cyberspacers, how did you spend your saturday?

Lies, Lies, Lies

Today is more for thought cyberspacers.

For weeks I've been trying to think of how to talk about my blog title and the URL for it.

By this point I believe that the majority of you understand the title of "Thoughts from a Scattered Mind" already. It's referencing the idea that my mind often switches from one idea to the next almost to the point that I often have trouble focusing on one thing for very long. The writing this class has pushed me into seems at times as if it is actually helping my attention span. It's not as if I feel that my writing has improved by much, or my focus on a singular topic is lasting much longer, but writing is actually enjoyable again. There was a long period of time where I didn't enjoy writing anymore. I just didn't get at as much enjoyment from it as I did from acting, or sometimes drawing. I'm not sure why or how this happened, but I'm happy that I have gone back to being happy when I write. It's not like most of the work isn't being shredded or destroyed still, but more is being kept than before. So the title of "Thoughts from a Scattered Mind" is rather clear.

The URL is more complicated. I can't remember why I chose it at the time. Now I believe that the e-lies title I use in my URL has something to do with the fact that there are a large number of people on the internet that lie. They lie about their age, their height, their hobbies, their lives, and at times these things that they lie about can become poisonous to themselves or many others. People lie in their daily lives even about a large multitude of things. I believe this title was achieved due to the fact that I'm so damn tired of a large multitude of those lies. Saying that I am not a perpetrator of these lies would be a lie in and of itself. Everyone tells lies. Whether it is the keeping the magic of Santa Claus alive, or telling a child that their hamster ran away, or something much larger and much more virile. This title was reached by how fed up I am with these lies. The little white lies that are perpetuated to keep a child's hopes and dreams alive are for the most part fine. Other than that, these lies are starting to drive me insane. So the thought was that I will not be a perpetrator of these lies, I will not tell them to others and I will not put up with them either. So there is the truth behind the e-lies. It's almost sarcasm, I'm calling it electronic lies, but I refuse to tell them to the unseeing eye.

So there you go cyberspacers, I hope you enjoyed my explanation.

"Said the Alligator King to his seven sons..."

Good morning cyberspacers, what do you want to watch this morning?

Since yesterday afternoon I've had the ad urge to watch my old Sesame Street videos. I know that thought is definitely a little juvenile and sad but it's really true. You see I have two old Sesame Street videos, and one slightly newer than the others. Of course the one in the best condition is the newest one. I got it this spring as a hand-me-down from my aunt only because she had bought it on dvd. You see the only reason it's in better condition is because I personally don't find Elmo in Grouchland as good as the other two tapes.

The tape in the worst condition isn't my favorite anymore, but it definitely was my favorite when I was younger. This was before the creation of Elmo's World, and one of the only tapes focusing on mainly Elmo before the creation of Elmo's World and before Elmopalooza, which honestly, was not as good as I had expected it to be at the time. This tape mainly focuses on a game show Elmo is hosting. There is a variety of outlandish questions, and each time a character gets a question right they get to jump on a miniature trampoline that somehow has to power to launch them into the ceiling, or at least to a rather high height. Elmo being the three year old that he was originally created to be often cuts in and answers the questions, because at that point in life what child wouldn't want to jump on a trampoline? I've looked on the internet in multiple places, which yes, that does include wikipedia, and no place really has any record of the tape ever being made as far as I can find. With Elmo usually being my favorite, it's pretty easy to see why that tape would've been watched more often when I was younger.

The past few days though, I've been wanting to watch the last tape though. Labeled as All-Star 25th Birthday: Stars and Street Forever this tape has become my favorite of the 3. A mash up of multiple different sketches with pieces in between to connect them on the subject of Big Bird, Prairie Dawn, and one other character whose name is slipping my mind, trying to create a group for the finale of the tape which consisting of a large group of characters singing "Sing" which for me is definitely a major trademark of the show. The skits include multiple different things such as "Happy tapping with Elmo" and "Doing the Pigeon".

Something in society makes me feel slightly wrong that I love watching these tapes so much still at my age, but being a teenager and who I am, makes me care about that a lot less. I don't even feel like it's a guilty pleasure, I'll honestly say that to me it's still pretty awesome. I have no reason to feel ashamed for liking these tapes, it's not my fault that I still love being a little kid sometimes.

So cyberspace, what makes you still feel like a little kid?

Thoughts from a "concussion"

Good morning cyberspacers, isn't it nice to see that I'm back at school?

So I haven't posted for the past two days, mainly due to the fact that A; I haven't been at school and B; I've felt pretty sick to my stomach. However, it's not as if these feelings are built on unstable ground. On Tuesday I had woken up already feeling a little crappy, but I had decided to go to school and muddle through the day anyway. As I was heading out of the house I discovered that I didn't have any gloves. Now, to understand what happened next I have to explain a few things to you about my living situation. My mother and I live in a 4plex on the second floor. Just outside our door, next to the common door out onto the second floor porch there is a fire extinguisher, inconveniently there is the box of my mother and I's extra hats, gloves and scarves for the winter. After spending a couple minutes digging through the box I had found the gloves I wanted and in order to catch my bus I had to hurry. Standing back up, rather quickly I may add, I whacked my head on the fire extinguisher with enough force that it made an unpleasant noise. Thinking that there was nothing wrong with this, it just hurt, I ran down the stairs, out the door, and down the block to just barely catch the bus.

Along my ride to school the pain was there but nothing huge. As I got closer and closer to school though, the pain started to become greater and greater to the point that I almost missed my stop from the second bus. Once inside the school building I gradually became groggier and groggier. Upon time for my first hour, this class, I worked my way into the room and sat down to try and begin to work.

Now, most days I jump right in and after reading my teacher's post for the day I start writing at a pace that in the past I couldn't even imagine I would reach. On Tuesday however that pace didn't appear, I was slow to even get the browser up on the school computer. At this point my teacher had already known about the trauma I accidentally caused on my and suggested I go to the office to get them to get the nurse to come over and check on me. Yes, our school is so small that the nurse is rarely here.

When the nurse arrived she checked to see that my pupils were even and reactive. They were, but she still suggested that I go home and take some ibuprofen and rest for the remainder of the day. My mother was not happy to hear about this. She was eventually convinced to have my grandparents come get me and have me stay at their house for the day. Once I had arrived there I took the ibuprofen and had some mac and cheese, because yes, at seventeen mac and cheese is still one of my favorite things to eat. At that point my dad actually called my grandparents. After telling him the events that had happened thus far and the fact that I felt a little pukey, he decided that I had a concussion and convinced my grandparents that I wasn't allowed to nap.

I spent the remainder of the day watching bad TV, which mainly consisted of cartoons and sitcoms geared towards middle schoolers. It was nice, I even was able to watch a little Rugrats and Recess.

Yesterday I stayed home yet again due to the facts that I still felt really cruddy and we only had a half day so it wasn't like I'd be missing all that much. The day was spent reading, watching a little TV, however when you don't have expansive cable, your options are rather limited, and actually playing on my DS a little again.

So cyberspacers, today I leave you with yet another few questions. Number 1: How do you feel about blunt force trauma with a fire extinguisher? and Number 2: What cartoons did you watch at a young age? I'll probably write more about cartoons and bad TV tomorrow, especially the fact that Gossip Girl was so damn good on Monday, along with Heroes as well.

Narrator

Good morning cyberspacers.

It seems that lately there has been quite an influx of assignments for posts. This week the assignment is to write a continuous narrative of sorts. Our teacher is writing about her experiences in highschool. My own thought is, isn't this a continuous narrative already? Each day we all come in, sit down, and write about a plethora of topics but each day there is usually a little insight into what is going on inside our own minds and lives. Such as this morning I am heavily frustrated that not only is it chilly and gloomy outside, but I was late for school AGAIN. On Friday my bus was 20 minutes late and this morning my bus was a few minutes early causing me to miss the connection I need to get to school on time. This is not a pleasant experience thus far today.

On top of that I also forgot my clementines at home today. Each day I bring two or three clementines with me to school and at times they are the only things that are preventing me from falling asleep in a few of my classes. Such as right now. I would probably love very few things more than crawling back into my bed and going to sleep right now. My warm comfy bed sounds very wonderful at this present time.

To jump to a totally unrelated topic this morning when I got out of the shower I discovered that I have bruises running up and down my shins. Previous to this I wasn't even aware that they were there. Maybe I need to stop running into things so much... And maybe roughhouse a little less rough... However neither of those are all that likely considering things are much more fun the way they are.

So cyberspace, are my thought processes enough of a running narrative, or would you actually like to read some of my subpar writing?

Walking in a Winter Wonderland

Good morning cyberspacers, isn't this weather just peachy? (Please note, this past sentence is dripping with sarcasm.)

Despite how beautiful snow is, and how much fun the stuff can be, the majority of the time I heavily despise the stuff. I wouldn't draw my disdain for the fluff as far as to say that I hate it, but for future knowledge I completely realize that at some point later this season, I will say that I hate it. Outside right now is a very pretty, very glamorous winter wonderland... Okay now, the snow is coming down way too fast to fulfill my ideas of a winter wonderland.

It's not as if I don't love playing in snow. In the past there were many years where my friends and I would play outside until our faces were red and our toes and fingertips were numb, partly due to the fact that I would always wear very light gloves when making snowballs, since personally, I think they pack better with the heat of hands when you're forming them. However, when I moved up to Minnesota I was outside less. In Iowa I lived in a large apartment complex complete with a tacky little courtyard so I could walk 3 doors down to my friend's house and we could go play without my mom freaking out since she could just look outside and see me. When we moved here I didn't live anywhere near any of my friends. I would still go to a friend's house every once in a while and we could play there, but it just wasn't the same as being able to go play with someone else in the snow whenever the thought came into my mind.

A big part of my disdain for the fluff right now is commuting to and from school. Last year I had rides to and from school all winter. This year is quite a contrast from the past, this year I'm taking the bus, which at times is including a ten minute layover. IT'S REALLY COLD WHEN YOU WAIT OUTSIDE FOR THE BUS FOR THAT LONG.

Despite this heavy disdain for snow, I don't think I could ever live somewhere that never had any snow. To me despite how much I complain about this weather it's just something I need to learn to put up with, because when it comes down to it, the years in the past where I've been somewhere for Christmas that doesn't have snow, part of it just doesn't feel right.

They aren't as creepy as they seem

So cyberspace,today I conclude my series of posts about ABJDS, which will mainly be made up of the reason I chose this topic, fascination I have with them, and my own.

I originally started looking at these dolls as if they were insanely creepy. Probably something like four years ago my mother had shown them to me and like most people looking at them for the first time I found them rather creepy. After seeing them them every once in a while for a little less than a year I truly admit I had started liking them, and at the point I'm at in the hobby right now, after thinking about it for a little bit I discovered that although I did know quite a bit, I didn't know as much as I would have liked to about a hobby that consumes a good amount of my time and my spending.

My fascination stems from two things; I always have been and always will be a big anime dork and I'm an artist. Not only do these dolls originate from Japan, but as I've shown you already, they are heavily customizable. There is so much you can do art wise and they have actually been a little helpful for me working on getting the majority of body proportions right, which is a pretty awesome perk.

Now, meet Bella and Natalie. Natalie, the 44cm, Dollzone Shoyo, blondie I've had for almost a year now, I got her for a Christmas present last year, and at this point she needs some basic care maitenence and a new wig, but she's amazing to me. The little 10 cm, puki puki sugar, brunette sitting in her lap is Bella. Bella is without a doubt my pocketsize baby, yes I acknowledge the fact that it's a little creepy to call her my baby but with the amount of work I've put into her and her clothing, I'd be absolutely devastated if anything bad ever happened to either one of them.

So there. You've seen another little slice of my twisted world and yes photos of them will be coming every once in a while now as well.

So cyberspace, are you creeped out, or is it some other type of fascination that you're cultivating?

Reviews

Good morning cyberspacers and welcome to the first blog of hopefully several that will be appearing "today"( The majority of the posts I will be backdating to the places that they actually belong); Due to reasons that I prefer to believe are beyond my control, though when I really think about it I do know that nothing about it is really beyond my control besides events that really make my head not want to handle the stress I put on myself.

ANYWAY!

Today's assignment was to pick one of our classmates blogs and read all the way through, and no I did not choose the blog that is labeled as my "pseudo-brother's" although he is one of my classmates as well. Being the person that I am I somehow inadvertently ended up choosing one of the longest blogs in our class. After spending the majority of the class-time today reading it, I am writing this from home(le shock!).

Her blog ( I know I'm not supposed to give any clues to whose blog it is, but at least this isn't anything big enough to give it away) was actually pretty entertaining for me to read. Her style feels almost like instead of being something you're reading, she's actually talking to you, I heavily enjoy this when I am reading something that is supposed to be almost periodical like I feel a blog is. Her posts are frequent, but not change topic often almost as if she knows that if she keeps on one idea for too many posts the readers will tire of it and decide to be reading something else. In a few days I will be adding a link to her blog into my sidebar, so lookout for the link sometime early next week.

Give your brain a break tonight cyberspacers, no questions today.

Word Manipulation

Good morning cyberspacers.

This morning for class we were asked to go work out our creative minds at magneticpoetry.com. After attempting to do this for just one of the two poems we were supposed to create at almost the end of our class hour I suck at poetry when the words I'm using are more limited than the expanses of my vocabulary. You see from a very young age for me my family has been using words that, for the most part that I know of, are traditionally not used around three and four year olds. Now, I'm not entirely meaning that in a colorful expletives form of the idea, except for around my uncle that is considering his vocabulary can be rather colorful at times, I'm just saying that even at my age I have a vocabulary that does confuse some of my peers, I'm almost transitive between an adult community and that of my peers, I don't entirely fit in either, but I can certainly blend into conversation and hold my own there as well. But anyway, back on the topic of poetry.

I've discovered that if I'm given an idea or a concept to write about I lately write things that I end up rather pleased with, such as in the last quarter of classes I wrote three pieces that were actually really satisfying for me, including two of which were performed at our open mic, one of which was a dual voice, which felt really powerful for me. In the past I had discovered that I hated my poetry, I hardly ever kept anything, and the things that weren't kept I was shredding by hand. So at this point I'm rather pleased with the way I can manipulate my words; However, if it is a situation where I have a limited selection of words and cannot use words that are not included, I'm pretty much screwed.

So what about you cyberspacers, how do you feel about your poetry?

The English Beat

Good morning cyberspace.

As a new assignment, today our class is supposed to write about "the language" that surrounds our lives, and the people that we talk to the most.

After briefly musing over this idea I have realized that the majority of my influences as of language are from areas that are heavily contributed to by the media. Even as I type this blog I am listening to horribly amazing dance music from the 80s' and 90s', additionally, last night I had spent time watching TV, and this is no new routine for me. I'm also thinking about how much "Artistic license" we take when creating these media and society driven entities and even in our own daily speech. In music you can clearly hear the grammatical errors all the time, there are forced rhymes, words left out, and even blatantly ignored simple rules on how the sentence should be formed purely for the purpose that the artist thinks it sounds better that way.

I'm not ignoring the fact that I do this either. Even when I'm writing to you cyberspace, I'm consciously thinking about what word sounds better here, what can make this phrase read better, what little changes can I make to hold your attention while I still get the point of what I am thinking about across. Take my previous sentence for example. The sentence clearly is a run on, but due to the fact that I like how it reads, I'm not going to change it. I clearly rely on rhythm much more heavily than actually caring about whether or not the grammar in my sentences is correct.

So cyberspace, what is it that influences your speech? I may write more about this at some point later, but now I'm going to go practice my grammar on freerice.com some more.

"What is that creepy thing?"

So today begins my research cyberspace, and like any teenager and even some adults I start with my research on wikipedia, mainly due to the fact that it is waay too late to ask about the history on the forum and get any sort of decent answer, and the other most reliable site I think I just might be able to get information off of is entirely in Japanese.

So for the sake of not dying, and this is the only part I'm interested in, I will only be covering a basic history and Asian Ball Jointed Dolls, if I was doing Ball Jointed Dolls in general, I think I'd die, considering that the whole idea actually started as far back as the Egyptians. So here is a brief history of the current world of BJDs provided mainly from what I know already and the wikipedia entry.

The birth of modern Asian Ball Jointed Dolls began about ten years ago. Volks, a company from Japan that had been previously creating mecha kits which in general is a mainly male hobby. After an executive director from the company saw a one-off doll, the company began thinking about how to produce these dolls for a larger market.If the idea actually paid off the company would be able to capitalize on a more female demographic as well as the mainly male hobby of the kits that they were already creating.

Thus far the idea has paid off, tomorrow I will be talking more specifically about the dolls themselves, such as what they're made from, size and the world of customizing.

Daffy Duck's Thanks for Giving special

Hello again cyberspacers, how was your turkey day?

Personally, Thanksgiving is weird. I've got a lot of heavily skewed ideas on what it is and isn't supposed to be. For a very long time this holiday was spent with just my mother's side of the family which definitely added to the development of some of these ideals. Thanksgiving with them, for as long as I can remember, has always been a more than one day ordeal... sort of. For me for the longest time it consisted of waking up in time to watch the parade, and then sitting around and either coloring at the table, or playing in the playroom (This room had ceilings of five and a half feet at the most, and the walls were actually sloped.) that was up the attic just to remain out of the way mainly. All of our food was the home cooked, made-from-scratch sort of deal. My grandmother and aunts would do everything but the turkey, that was my grandpa's job, as far as I remember Him and my uncle Ricky spent the majority of the rest of the time watching football. The day after would be spent putting up Christmas decorations so technically for me, having Christmas decorations up before thanksgiving is even over is rather blasphemous.

Fourth grade was the first year ever that I spent Thanksgiving with my father's side of the family. This for me was a travesty. I already understood that things with my Father's side of the family were very different than what happened with my Mother's side. I knew that my Father's side had a much more polished uptight way of going about things than I was used to, and I also knew that to me, food never tasted as good from them as it did from the other side. So knowing this I was already expecting things to be not as good, but what happened actually left me appalled. That year for Thanksgiving we went out for dinner. It was safe to say that I was heavily unpleased with this event, no amazing smells coming from the kitchen all day, no overly busy house, no left overs to be eaten over the next several days, and definitely not the event that I had spent so many previous years loving. I was mentally throwing a fit on the sidelines, I was spending this holiday without what I regarded at this point as my real family, and they had the guts to change the routine of Thanksgiving that I had been following for years.

In retrospect I know that I was acting like a spoiled brat, however, at the time, and still partially now this is all I knew. For the multiple years I was always the only grandchild on my father's side of the family, and I will always be the oldest and at this point there at times is a sense of the fact that my grandfather is much happier to be around me than my other cousins due to the fact that I am no longer the rambunctious munchkin that they all are to him. On my mother's side of the family up until last Wednesday(For the most part that is, there is a step-granddaughter who turns nine on Sunday as well, but she hasn't been around our family for anymore than a year and she's actually turning nine on Sunday.) I was the only grandchild there as well. Last Wednesday Richard Emmett was born. He's the first boy and the third Richard in our family, when my grandpa heard that they had decided his name was going to be Richard he looked so proud. Our family is truly ecstatic that after almost eighteen years there is a new baby.

This brings me to the idea of giving thanks. This year I am completely and wholeheartedly thankful for my family and the joy that I know will be traveling amongst the family over the next several years, at times we may encounter difficulties, but together we are able to fight with the best of them, and they are my world.

Never gonna give you up

Cyberspacers please tell me that at least one of you watched the Macy's thanksgiving day parade yesterday.



RickRolled by Foster's home for imaginary friends, I love Fosters so much.

Other than that amazing little bit the only highlight to my weekend was seeing the new baby. That baby is the cutest child I have seen in a long time, I took a whole roll of film in about an hour of mainly just him lying there and fidgeting, he wasn't even really awake. I consumed large amounts of turkey and relaxed, it was good, but mostly uneventful. Soon as long as it's okay with my aunt and uncle I will probably post more photos of the baby, but otherwise, things were boring, it was nice.

So cyberspace, how was your turkey day weekend?

Dude, you got a disease.

I'm sorry cyberspace for such a large gap in my posts.  Lately there has been a lot going on for me outside of school and despite the fact that I do get a free hour to write to all of you every morning my thoughts, let alone my heart, has not been there to provide the insight into my scattered mind.

Today's post is titled "Dude, you got a disease." for multiple reasons.  Part of it has to do with the fact that I currently really want to watch School Of Rock for what would probably be something around the thirtieth time I've seen the movie.  However, that is more of a thought than the actual reason. 

Now in order to understand what I'm going to say next I'm going to have to let you in on a few more of my scattered thoughts.  I am flat out a very moody person.  I have tendencies to change my mind in a moment, be crabby one minute and little miss sunshine the next, and even at times I am guilty of committing acts of violence towards my own friends.  Due to these actions and a few more thoughts that at this time I am not comfortable with the general public knowing, my mother decided that a psych "evaluation" might be a good idea. This was a little over a month ago now.  At that point the psych decided that it would probably be a good idea for me to go on a mood stabilizer, which I am currently taking, and to get a Vitamin D test.

After getting the Vitamin D test taken a little over a week ago, my mother received a call from the psych again.  As it turns out, I am so Vitamin D deficient that it's actually a disease.  Starting at some point soon I will be taking 100,000 mg of Vitamin D a week, the supplements to bring me back up to a more realistic level, ease muscle and bone pain, and actually even out my mood as well .  So yes, dude, I got a disease, that's all caused by not being out in the sun enough.

This has also gotten my mother and I thinking.  How much of our current population is Vitamin D deficient? The majority of people are spending much more of their lives inside than they had even as little as 10 years ago.  When I was in elementary school I was probably outside for at least an hour daily during the school year and during the summer at least five probably.  Now, ten years later, you'd probably be lucky to catch me outside for the majority of the school year unless I'm in the middle of a commute and during the summer the hours are much less frequent and shorter as well than in previous years.

So what do you think Cyberspace? How Vitamin D low do you think our general population is? Why?

I'm not researching today

Good morning cyberspacers.

I'd like to start this morning with an apology to all of you and my teacher Becky. I'm sorry for not beginning the writing of my research on tuesday, and not writing anything yesterday, and I regret to inform you all that I will not be beginning the writing today either so none of you will be able to learn about the creepy world of BJDs, I will eventually teach all of you about this entertaining, but sometimes insane hobby. However, I need to spend this morning venting from the past few days.

I fight with my mother on a rather regular basis, actually an almost daily basis, but yesterday morning really just sucked ass. Before I had even been awake for ten minutes the woman was telling me to find another place to live since when I turn eighteen she's basically going to kick me out. It's all due to the fact that she thinks I'm not trying hard enough to do my school work and that I'm on the phone too much.

At 17 studies show that you are scientifically supposed to get somewhere between eight and ten hours a night. However, as any teenager and the majority of the adult population knows, that is as likely to happen as a baby speaking coherently within three months after it is born. Despite this common knowledge my mother tries to hold me to that type of sleep schedule.

The current major wrench in this ideal is the fact that for the past six nights I have been on the phone for at least an hour with one of my friends. I'm not even to go into the dynamics of that relationship because it is practically irrelevant to the nature of this post. Anyway, I'm on the phone for extended periods of time, usually doing things that need to get done as I talk, and my mother is yelling at me purely for the fact that I am on the phone when she believes that I should be asleep.

My question for you cyberspace is whether or not you believe her yelling is founded in something real, or just an over dramatized accusation and dislike of a common teenage ideal.

Total freakout

THIS BLOG IS BEING ADDED AFTER THE ACTUAL DAY IT IS BASED ON.


Today the underclassmen, that is students that are in lower grades than me, are "testing". I seriously HATE standardized testing. If it is the type where you have a test book and are given an unlimited amount of time, I'm usually okay, but once you add the variables of a computer or a limited amount of time onto the test I start freaking out. I start feeling like if I don't do this right I'm going to fail and never amount to anything. With the computer tests I traditionally score rather above average, about twenty to thirty points with the last one I took actually, but with the timed tests I tend to do pathetically on them, I get so bogged down while freaking out that I can't think about anything but that. It's not like we need these tests anyway, for me instead of measuring what we know, it just measures our ability to memorize everything we learn in our classes. Any standardized testing makes me think that the system of education we have doesn't measure our intelligence, in any form that it may be, but it measures how well we memorize. It doesn't tell you if a student is having problems in a class, or if a teacher isn't the best, it just measures whether or not we can memorize, and truthfully, when are we going to use the majority of this knowledge after we're done with school anyway?

So cyberspace, what do you think about the standardized testing system, is it valid or does it just show us that some students memorize or are getting a better education than those who score lower?

Oh wow... I'm a big dork

I have an actual assignment for this class today cyberspace.

Okay so, as I said earlier in my blog I am partially writing this blog for a class. In a new assignment we have had to find five regularly updated blogs that we think we like and would read on a regular basis. In finding these blogs I has basically come to the conclusion that my god am I a gigantic dork. After reading what blogs I've chosen you'll completely understand why I say this.

If you have looked at the links in my side menu previous to this post ((After this post I will be linking all the blogs I have decided to mention in this entry there as well)) you would have seen a link for one of my favorite webcomics by the title of Thorn. After doing some wandering throughout the site I was able to find that the author keeps a blog as well. My Blue Sky as the blog is titled essentially is a jumble of drawings that aren't part of the webcomic that she has created. The woman used to work with pixar and disney and she writes a webcomic about a little girl taking over the world, how could it not be entertaining.

I also craft. It isn't a matter of knitting, or crocheting, or sewing, I just flat out craft, it's what I do. So it's relatively a given that somewhere within this jumble I would have a crafting blog in some shape or form. Chic Knits on that front is pretty damn great. Free Yarn on fridays and usually beautifully created items otherwise is pretty nice.

With this I thought I had actually redeemed myself from the blackhole that is my world due to the fact that culture is an amazingly interesting thing no matter the location on the globe. However, after thinking about it a little bit more, I have come to terms with the fact that this is yet another blog about what is happening in Japan. On a side note however, this blog is more so about awesome technology advancements, like the post about now being able to play guitar hero on your cellphone, and really interesting things that are coming out with their culture than the other little niche things that the majority of the other blogs I'm reading focus on.

Hello Kitty Hell is one of the most amazing yet truly disturbing websites I have ever run across. Written by a married man the blog talks about all the disturbing thing he runs into while his wife runs a profitable business, that he encouraged based solely on the sale of Hello Kitty merchandise.Growing up with as much Hello Kitty as I have, and still owning the majority of the items I have had since then, and being a teenager I love to see the sick and twisted things that the icons of my childhood have created.

Here is when I truly realized what a big dork I actually am. Now to actually get to the blog section of her website you need to go over to the pretty little menu bar on the left and click blog. I've own the singular book, that is actually a manga about her adventures on her first trip to Japan, that this woman has written and read her articles in Haute Doll in every issue so to me she's pretty cool. Although the blog is mainly photographs of her cosplay and the phenomena of BJDs with very short captions it's pretty cool to know a little bit more about what happens in her life on a day to day basis.

This brings me back to the assignment I have for this week. I have to pick one topic and each day write a little bit more concerning that idea. This week, my lovely cyberspace readers, if you don't know about them already will be learning about BJDs, also known as Asian Ball-Jointed Dolls, and even once in a while, "those creepy dolls from Japan."

Thoughts to live by...

Good morning again cyberspace, it's the weather sucky today?

At one point last year I was beginning to feel under a lot of stress from my teachers pushing me work to what they believed to be my full potential. When I questioned one of the teachers that was supplying the pressure why couldn't it be less he told me this: "If they stop pushing you to win they've stopped caring." Not only did this make me confused it made me think a lot. What is going through the minds of the people that are just waiting for you to fail? And, what is going through the minds of the people that are really just wanting you to be the best person you can ever be?

The obvious thought that always comes to mind when you're thinking about the people that are wanting you to fail is that they care so much about being better than you that they have to do something to make you feel inferior to themselves. Maybe it's the opposite, they care so little that they automatically assume they're better.

Ponder over that cyberspace, what's your conclusion?

Pain

Good morning cyberspace.

I'm sorry if I type slowly or at times incorrectly today, but not only am I using a much wider keyboard than I'm used to, but I also woke up this morning with a shooting pain traversing up and down my left arm, typing isn't as easy when you're trying to lose your left hand less than always in order to not stress the pain. This pain has made me think.

This isn't the worst pain I've ever been in,but it isn't as if this feeling is pleasant. I have never felt the pain of breaking a bone or many of the things that usually happen to most people by my age, but it isn't as if I haven't felt pain.

Last summer I had a highly painful sunburn. I couldn't sleep, I had ice packs on me since early in the afternoon and by eleven at night the ice packs were still warm within half an hour. At that point my mother and I proceeded to urgent care. We were told that this was the worst sunburn they had seen all summer. After having prescription lotion spread all over the sunburn I was told to take half a pill of vicodin and go to sleep. After that I proceeded to sleep for the next twelve hours. In the morning my body still hurt but it was a hell of a lot better than any of the pain that I had felt for the previous day.

The year before I had gone to the emergency room at midnight for dehydration. I had been sick for the previous week, I couldn't eat anything solid, I could hardly even keep the majority of liquids down. At that point my mother called our urgent care doctor and he told us that instead of waiting until the morning to take me to the doctor that I needed to go in now. I was so loopy that they put me in a wheelchair there then placed me in a hospital bed with very warm blankets and an IV drip where I proceeded to watch movies and eat popsicles for the next two hours. Despite how cruddy the experience sounds, it was actually pretty entertaining.

The pain in my arm is spreading into my head, time to go do something a little less taxing on my mental processes.

First Morning

This blog title was originally created two years ago when my world was turned upside down, sadly I was never able to use it due to the fact that with that world I was living in I didn't feel like my thoughts were safe from peering eyes. Two years later this is now being used for a class, my world is in a slightly more stable setting, but the thoughts that run through my mind are still those that occupied it two years ago. In short, my world may be complicated now, but I'm in a better place than I was then.

The place I'm in has made my friends into my whole world, they are the people that catch me when I'm crumbling and are the people that truly lift me up to where I feel like I belong. My family will always be my family, but I'm not going to lie and say that the deck I've been dealt is heavily in my favor, everyone has their own issues, and they are partially mine. They have been the cause of the majority of my problems, but also fix them when they can.

This blog was originally suggested by my mother due to the fact that after a boating accident that severely injured one of our relatives she started her own and it helped her with the issues she had at the time. While her blog was still active she had a good amount of readers, and was pretty happy with it, eventually though our family encountered new issues and she stopped and deleted the blog from the world of cyberspace entirely. Now in my world I hope to gain the comfort in my blog that she did in her own. So good morning all, welcome to the twisted place that I call home.