"I love love, I love being in love..."

Vultures.

The animals that sit and wait until something is dead to go for it.

A few years ago, I was at a different school. At about a quarter in my friend started calling me a vulture. He noticed my tendency to like someone and just not do anything about it. For a while I completely denied it. I stuck by the fact that this was completely false and I would never do that. A few months later, there was an event at the school that one of my old friends had decided to attend. I brought the idea up her. She immediately acknowledged that he was right. I sat there for quite a while thinking about it. I finally realized that he was right, and I hated it. I hate the idea that I just sit by and watch while the people I like end up with others, and often get their hearts broken. It makes me sad that people will take advantage of others like that. I know it's true though. I know I've been guilty of breaking those hearts before and that those relationships often don't end up well. It's actually part of the reason I'm at my current school.

Last year, for a large chunk of the year, I did have a really good boyfriend. He was new to the school, and a little less than a month into the school year we ended up together. We would always hang out on Saturdays and we were both really happy. For a little while in late October and early November things were breaking down a little. We weren't hanging out on Saturdays since he would always have rehearsals for a band in a program he was a part of. They finally played the gig they were rehearsing for though, and then everything went back to normal. However, in early December I was cast with the lead role in our school play. I was ecstatic. I'd had big roles before, but never in such an amazing play as this one. I mean honestly, this play is only allowed to be performed in once each year besides the running place it has in the west end of London. One other cast member was really nasty about the casting due to how she was saying she thought it should be cast before the list went up, but she was handed a little retribution by receiving a lesser role and I got the role she was saying she would get.

Unluckily, due to the usual stress from school and the load of this play I was breaking down a little bit. I can only handle so much stress at once, but that play was amazing to me and there was no way anyone would be able to convince me to give that role up. Tragically I made a large mistake. Due to the stress, our relationship was deteriorating a little bit, and then took a large blow when I said "I'm sorry I can't deal with your issues right now, there is too much on my plate to handle already!". That was a huge mistake. Even after the play was over our relationship was still declining. After that phrase he stopped telling me anything. Soon, it wasn't even fun anymore. I broke things off, it didn't go well. He had become very depressed after that phrase partially due to that, and some home life issues. That relationship was the last thing it seemed was keeping him together and he snapped.

In that decision I really learned who my real friends are. In the next month I lost the majority of my friends in that building, some of them being people I thought I would be in contact with for the rest of my life. I fell so far into this hole that I began secluding myself and focusing on one thing at a time, I spent a large amount of time in our ceramics room. I soon changed schools to my current one, and despite the loss, I love where I am now.

Despite these issues and many more that have happened before them, I love love. I love all the thoughts that accompany it. I'm not a fan of the complications that happen when things go wrong, but when things go right it's one of those feelings that everyone should be able to feel for the whole of their lives.

Only right now, I'm not a fan of battling vultures.