"I'm dreaming of a white Christmas"

Hey cyberspacers, it's almost Christmas.

Due to my family dynamic I had an early Christmas yesterday. I'm spending actual Christmas with my father's half of the family, but the one this weekend was my mother's half of the family. I don't think I've expressed quite enough how much I love my family. On Friday and Saturday I spent large amounts of time either playing video games or holding my new baby cousin. He is the cutest sweetest baby I have ever seen. For the majority of the time he was rather quiet, just looking around, which for being not a month old is pretty damn good to be awake for that long.

I also realized a little more about the magic of Christmas.

My cousin Kenzie is nine. She's one of those awesome kids that reads and reads and at her age still believes in Santa Claus. At somewhere around one am there were only 4 people left awake. I was getting tired and planning on going to sleep rather shortly. At that point I realized that the two people that usually set up all the christmas things for the morning had already gone into very heavy sleep. My uncles were in the basement playing darts, and this is the first year that that the other has spent Christmas with us. Until setting up that night I had never quite realised how much work everyone else goes through to make that magical. Setting that up was insane, but also a huge adrenaline rush for some reason.

So cyberspacers, how did you spend your saturday?

Lies, Lies, Lies

Today is more for thought cyberspacers.

For weeks I've been trying to think of how to talk about my blog title and the URL for it.

By this point I believe that the majority of you understand the title of "Thoughts from a Scattered Mind" already. It's referencing the idea that my mind often switches from one idea to the next almost to the point that I often have trouble focusing on one thing for very long. The writing this class has pushed me into seems at times as if it is actually helping my attention span. It's not as if I feel that my writing has improved by much, or my focus on a singular topic is lasting much longer, but writing is actually enjoyable again. There was a long period of time where I didn't enjoy writing anymore. I just didn't get at as much enjoyment from it as I did from acting, or sometimes drawing. I'm not sure why or how this happened, but I'm happy that I have gone back to being happy when I write. It's not like most of the work isn't being shredded or destroyed still, but more is being kept than before. So the title of "Thoughts from a Scattered Mind" is rather clear.

The URL is more complicated. I can't remember why I chose it at the time. Now I believe that the e-lies title I use in my URL has something to do with the fact that there are a large number of people on the internet that lie. They lie about their age, their height, their hobbies, their lives, and at times these things that they lie about can become poisonous to themselves or many others. People lie in their daily lives even about a large multitude of things. I believe this title was achieved due to the fact that I'm so damn tired of a large multitude of those lies. Saying that I am not a perpetrator of these lies would be a lie in and of itself. Everyone tells lies. Whether it is the keeping the magic of Santa Claus alive, or telling a child that their hamster ran away, or something much larger and much more virile. This title was reached by how fed up I am with these lies. The little white lies that are perpetuated to keep a child's hopes and dreams alive are for the most part fine. Other than that, these lies are starting to drive me insane. So the thought was that I will not be a perpetrator of these lies, I will not tell them to others and I will not put up with them either. So there is the truth behind the e-lies. It's almost sarcasm, I'm calling it electronic lies, but I refuse to tell them to the unseeing eye.

So there you go cyberspacers, I hope you enjoyed my explanation.

"Said the Alligator King to his seven sons..."

Good morning cyberspacers, what do you want to watch this morning?

Since yesterday afternoon I've had the ad urge to watch my old Sesame Street videos. I know that thought is definitely a little juvenile and sad but it's really true. You see I have two old Sesame Street videos, and one slightly newer than the others. Of course the one in the best condition is the newest one. I got it this spring as a hand-me-down from my aunt only because she had bought it on dvd. You see the only reason it's in better condition is because I personally don't find Elmo in Grouchland as good as the other two tapes.

The tape in the worst condition isn't my favorite anymore, but it definitely was my favorite when I was younger. This was before the creation of Elmo's World, and one of the only tapes focusing on mainly Elmo before the creation of Elmo's World and before Elmopalooza, which honestly, was not as good as I had expected it to be at the time. This tape mainly focuses on a game show Elmo is hosting. There is a variety of outlandish questions, and each time a character gets a question right they get to jump on a miniature trampoline that somehow has to power to launch them into the ceiling, or at least to a rather high height. Elmo being the three year old that he was originally created to be often cuts in and answers the questions, because at that point in life what child wouldn't want to jump on a trampoline? I've looked on the internet in multiple places, which yes, that does include wikipedia, and no place really has any record of the tape ever being made as far as I can find. With Elmo usually being my favorite, it's pretty easy to see why that tape would've been watched more often when I was younger.

The past few days though, I've been wanting to watch the last tape though. Labeled as All-Star 25th Birthday: Stars and Street Forever this tape has become my favorite of the 3. A mash up of multiple different sketches with pieces in between to connect them on the subject of Big Bird, Prairie Dawn, and one other character whose name is slipping my mind, trying to create a group for the finale of the tape which consisting of a large group of characters singing "Sing" which for me is definitely a major trademark of the show. The skits include multiple different things such as "Happy tapping with Elmo" and "Doing the Pigeon".

Something in society makes me feel slightly wrong that I love watching these tapes so much still at my age, but being a teenager and who I am, makes me care about that a lot less. I don't even feel like it's a guilty pleasure, I'll honestly say that to me it's still pretty awesome. I have no reason to feel ashamed for liking these tapes, it's not my fault that I still love being a little kid sometimes.

So cyberspace, what makes you still feel like a little kid?

Thoughts from a "concussion"

Good morning cyberspacers, isn't it nice to see that I'm back at school?

So I haven't posted for the past two days, mainly due to the fact that A; I haven't been at school and B; I've felt pretty sick to my stomach. However, it's not as if these feelings are built on unstable ground. On Tuesday I had woken up already feeling a little crappy, but I had decided to go to school and muddle through the day anyway. As I was heading out of the house I discovered that I didn't have any gloves. Now, to understand what happened next I have to explain a few things to you about my living situation. My mother and I live in a 4plex on the second floor. Just outside our door, next to the common door out onto the second floor porch there is a fire extinguisher, inconveniently there is the box of my mother and I's extra hats, gloves and scarves for the winter. After spending a couple minutes digging through the box I had found the gloves I wanted and in order to catch my bus I had to hurry. Standing back up, rather quickly I may add, I whacked my head on the fire extinguisher with enough force that it made an unpleasant noise. Thinking that there was nothing wrong with this, it just hurt, I ran down the stairs, out the door, and down the block to just barely catch the bus.

Along my ride to school the pain was there but nothing huge. As I got closer and closer to school though, the pain started to become greater and greater to the point that I almost missed my stop from the second bus. Once inside the school building I gradually became groggier and groggier. Upon time for my first hour, this class, I worked my way into the room and sat down to try and begin to work.

Now, most days I jump right in and after reading my teacher's post for the day I start writing at a pace that in the past I couldn't even imagine I would reach. On Tuesday however that pace didn't appear, I was slow to even get the browser up on the school computer. At this point my teacher had already known about the trauma I accidentally caused on my and suggested I go to the office to get them to get the nurse to come over and check on me. Yes, our school is so small that the nurse is rarely here.

When the nurse arrived she checked to see that my pupils were even and reactive. They were, but she still suggested that I go home and take some ibuprofen and rest for the remainder of the day. My mother was not happy to hear about this. She was eventually convinced to have my grandparents come get me and have me stay at their house for the day. Once I had arrived there I took the ibuprofen and had some mac and cheese, because yes, at seventeen mac and cheese is still one of my favorite things to eat. At that point my dad actually called my grandparents. After telling him the events that had happened thus far and the fact that I felt a little pukey, he decided that I had a concussion and convinced my grandparents that I wasn't allowed to nap.

I spent the remainder of the day watching bad TV, which mainly consisted of cartoons and sitcoms geared towards middle schoolers. It was nice, I even was able to watch a little Rugrats and Recess.

Yesterday I stayed home yet again due to the facts that I still felt really cruddy and we only had a half day so it wasn't like I'd be missing all that much. The day was spent reading, watching a little TV, however when you don't have expansive cable, your options are rather limited, and actually playing on my DS a little again.

So cyberspacers, today I leave you with yet another few questions. Number 1: How do you feel about blunt force trauma with a fire extinguisher? and Number 2: What cartoons did you watch at a young age? I'll probably write more about cartoons and bad TV tomorrow, especially the fact that Gossip Girl was so damn good on Monday, along with Heroes as well.

Narrator

Good morning cyberspacers.

It seems that lately there has been quite an influx of assignments for posts. This week the assignment is to write a continuous narrative of sorts. Our teacher is writing about her experiences in highschool. My own thought is, isn't this a continuous narrative already? Each day we all come in, sit down, and write about a plethora of topics but each day there is usually a little insight into what is going on inside our own minds and lives. Such as this morning I am heavily frustrated that not only is it chilly and gloomy outside, but I was late for school AGAIN. On Friday my bus was 20 minutes late and this morning my bus was a few minutes early causing me to miss the connection I need to get to school on time. This is not a pleasant experience thus far today.

On top of that I also forgot my clementines at home today. Each day I bring two or three clementines with me to school and at times they are the only things that are preventing me from falling asleep in a few of my classes. Such as right now. I would probably love very few things more than crawling back into my bed and going to sleep right now. My warm comfy bed sounds very wonderful at this present time.

To jump to a totally unrelated topic this morning when I got out of the shower I discovered that I have bruises running up and down my shins. Previous to this I wasn't even aware that they were there. Maybe I need to stop running into things so much... And maybe roughhouse a little less rough... However neither of those are all that likely considering things are much more fun the way they are.

So cyberspace, are my thought processes enough of a running narrative, or would you actually like to read some of my subpar writing?

Walking in a Winter Wonderland

Good morning cyberspacers, isn't this weather just peachy? (Please note, this past sentence is dripping with sarcasm.)

Despite how beautiful snow is, and how much fun the stuff can be, the majority of the time I heavily despise the stuff. I wouldn't draw my disdain for the fluff as far as to say that I hate it, but for future knowledge I completely realize that at some point later this season, I will say that I hate it. Outside right now is a very pretty, very glamorous winter wonderland... Okay now, the snow is coming down way too fast to fulfill my ideas of a winter wonderland.

It's not as if I don't love playing in snow. In the past there were many years where my friends and I would play outside until our faces were red and our toes and fingertips were numb, partly due to the fact that I would always wear very light gloves when making snowballs, since personally, I think they pack better with the heat of hands when you're forming them. However, when I moved up to Minnesota I was outside less. In Iowa I lived in a large apartment complex complete with a tacky little courtyard so I could walk 3 doors down to my friend's house and we could go play without my mom freaking out since she could just look outside and see me. When we moved here I didn't live anywhere near any of my friends. I would still go to a friend's house every once in a while and we could play there, but it just wasn't the same as being able to go play with someone else in the snow whenever the thought came into my mind.

A big part of my disdain for the fluff right now is commuting to and from school. Last year I had rides to and from school all winter. This year is quite a contrast from the past, this year I'm taking the bus, which at times is including a ten minute layover. IT'S REALLY COLD WHEN YOU WAIT OUTSIDE FOR THE BUS FOR THAT LONG.

Despite this heavy disdain for snow, I don't think I could ever live somewhere that never had any snow. To me despite how much I complain about this weather it's just something I need to learn to put up with, because when it comes down to it, the years in the past where I've been somewhere for Christmas that doesn't have snow, part of it just doesn't feel right.

They aren't as creepy as they seem

So cyberspace,today I conclude my series of posts about ABJDS, which will mainly be made up of the reason I chose this topic, fascination I have with them, and my own.

I originally started looking at these dolls as if they were insanely creepy. Probably something like four years ago my mother had shown them to me and like most people looking at them for the first time I found them rather creepy. After seeing them them every once in a while for a little less than a year I truly admit I had started liking them, and at the point I'm at in the hobby right now, after thinking about it for a little bit I discovered that although I did know quite a bit, I didn't know as much as I would have liked to about a hobby that consumes a good amount of my time and my spending.

My fascination stems from two things; I always have been and always will be a big anime dork and I'm an artist. Not only do these dolls originate from Japan, but as I've shown you already, they are heavily customizable. There is so much you can do art wise and they have actually been a little helpful for me working on getting the majority of body proportions right, which is a pretty awesome perk.

Now, meet Bella and Natalie. Natalie, the 44cm, Dollzone Shoyo, blondie I've had for almost a year now, I got her for a Christmas present last year, and at this point she needs some basic care maitenence and a new wig, but she's amazing to me. The little 10 cm, puki puki sugar, brunette sitting in her lap is Bella. Bella is without a doubt my pocketsize baby, yes I acknowledge the fact that it's a little creepy to call her my baby but with the amount of work I've put into her and her clothing, I'd be absolutely devastated if anything bad ever happened to either one of them.

So there. You've seen another little slice of my twisted world and yes photos of them will be coming every once in a while now as well.

So cyberspace, are you creeped out, or is it some other type of fascination that you're cultivating?